Ask me…anything

Wondering why - as a woman - I also work with men?

I have had the clear call to initiate men in this Sacred way for many years now. Then, 4 years ago, my dad had a severe bike accident where he broke his neck and became tetraplegic - the shock of his accident, seeing this strong, powerful man and role model incapable of moving anything below his neck, suddenly dependent on help day and night, was simply heart-wrenching. Life, as it has been, was never going to be the same again, neither for my incredibly tough and courageous father, nor for me. Along with the shock, pain and all the financial and other responsibilities I suddenly was confronted with, I was also catapulted into a profound journey through my paternal lineage, my forefathers showed me the horrors of the wars they experienced, the atrocities they committed, the guilt and pain and emotional suppression, the disconnect from the heart (and sex/desire) and so much more...a deep, dark journey of profound initiation and healing. Nine days after my dad's accident, I realized in all the pain and despair and fear that if he didn't die now he would want to take his life, that it was time for me to step into my power - as the initiatress (and Priestess) I had trained to be, I just couldn't not, it wasn't a choice anymore. No more second guessing my intuition or doubting my power (the power in us as human beings) - I would help my dad heal, whatever it takes. I knew it's not me who is going "to heal him", I don't believe in "healers" as "healing / curing someone", I do believe and have experienced again and again that only we can heal ourselves - yet, I believe that we can help and support others to heal themselves, especially by being fully present and helping them: regulate and soothe their nervous system (using simple tools such as breathing techniques and breathwork and much more) and merging painful /traumatic memories/situations with the emotions (with lots of different methods and tools engaging emotions as well as body work such as body de-armouring). The day I decided to show up in this way, my dad asked me to come closer to the hospital bed and whispered into my ear: "I am not giving up, I have decided to fight, and do whatever it takes to heal (- for you, because I want to see you grow and flourish)". And so he did, whilst the nine days before were a mere survival - not sure if he was going to make it to the next day - suddenly, a few days later he could move a toe, then another one, and over the coming months with hard physical training, breathing and visualization at the rehab center he was able to get back functions such as his bladder, engage more and more muscles in his lower and upper legs, shoulders, arms and ultimately fingers. I am beyond, beyond proud of his progress, 20 months later, he is still in a wheel chair and cannot move his fingers fully but he can stand (!) and walk (!) several meters - against what the doctors expected, it just blows my mind. This is my dad's own work, not mine, not his therapists', I take and want no credit for that - all it took to make the big change was that decision to not give up and do all it takes, mindset and willpower is so, so powerful, to believe in possibility and step into our power, and then take the actions needed. Through this, something shifted for me deep inside and at some point I stopped turning away all the men that were called to and asking to work with me, like it was so natural to work with men suddenly.

I remember, at first, a dear sister of mine and I offered a men's sharing circle called "Deep Listening" over a year ago and most men invited reacted with: what do you want from us, why do you do this? And we said, we just want to hold space for you and witness men in all their authentic expression without judgement. Four men did show up and it was so powerful and healing, but that's where I recognized: it was hard for men to trust and surrender fully and be held by women - and, that was the mirror too - can we as women fully TRUST our capacity to hold men, with not a shred of doubt, anywhere. Exactly that is the medicine, that we allow ourselves to surrender to the deepest of trust and be there, BE TRULY THERE for the men around us, as pure presence WITHOUT a splinter of judgement, and allow all of them, all of their emotions, their rage, their devastation, their hopelessness, their desires, their darkness, their sweetness, their biggest fears, their guilt, their shame, their pain, their horrors, their softness...and welcome all of it, deep down we find that capacity, we are strong enough to hold all of you, your dark and your light, you can let go and be held in our arms. And no, you are not too much, your desires are not too much, your lust is not too much, your darkness is not too much - it only is when it is in the shadow/the subconsciousness playing out in the dark/outside of consent. And this is why with Heart Warrior Movement (both men and women) we go into the depths of our darkness, our shadows, our suppressed sexual power and shed light on these parts, heal trauma and merge our life force / sexual energy and power with the purity of our hearts, with the clarity of consent - to set us free and dance together in ecstasy creating a new world where we end suppression of desires pushing them in the dark/unhealthy shadows, and end the intergenerational perpetuation of trauma and abuse.

And I am touched beyond words by the beauty of what unfolds through these sessions and immersions I have held so far - I have worked 1:1 with men as well as held retreats/immersions with mixed gender but I am still only dreaming of holding group immersions/initiations with men - I know when the time is right, there will be men showing up, requesting this. For now, I TRUST the timing. ♡

Bold Vision Statement

My Vision – Evolution of humanity to harmonize the planet by remembering our CONNECTION

My Mission – Ending the intergenerational perpetuation of violence & trauma

WHY? We cannot go on any longer with wars and violence against our own human species and our fellow animal and plant species, and the entire world – it has to STOP with us!

The HEART WARRIOR MOVEMENT currently offers trainings in the art of CONNECTION – free for young people in Khayelitsha, a high violence, low resource area of the Cape Flats, South Africa. The work is based on years of scientific research I conducted in the field where Development Aid, Psychology and Neuroscience meet – the main pillars are the cultivation of EMOTIONAL SAFETY, PRESENCE & CARE. Participants learn to own, process and express emotions, desires and boundaries, confront fears and shadows, and most of all develop a care deep beyond oneself.

We can't have true empathy and compassion until we've deeply met ourselves with compassion. We can't deeply and honestly connect to others until we've met ourselves deeply and honestly.

What does the art of CONNECTION mean?

The art of CONNECTION is about connecting back to nature, to ourselves, and from there to others and beyond, the Universe. CONNECTION to

o   NATURE, EARTH – Nature Immersions, re-connection to the natural world —> leads to respect and care

o   EMOTIONS – Emotion Regulation tools, re-connection to your Self, making peace with the self —> cultivates inner peace

o   OTHERS – Co-Regulation tools, authentic relating, boundary and emotional safety practices, (re-)connecting to others —> fosters care, kindness and emotional safety

o   SOURCE – connecting to the unknown, this is where —> WISDOM arises out of the depth…

The image that came to me many years ago in dreams are 4 spheres that connect together like bubbles, interlaced in a string that mimics an infinity that is open... infinitely deep, your INNR WELL.

The four spheres represent those four elements, and from the Polarity Theory perspective it represents the inner masculine and inner feminine x2 when two humans meet and go into connection. It is always the four of them, that make love, or…that are at war. Inner war never leads to outer peace… We must first establish connection and understanding within our own inner parts.

From CONNECTION that is based on our pillars of PRESENCE and SAFETY and CARE, all suffering can eventually cease, internal as external.

WHY - because the CORE WOUND of HUMANITY is the wound of SEPARATION, from the mother at birth, from the oneness, the eternal longing to be complete and whole (again).

All violence, all wars INTERNAL and EXTERNAL stem from one main CAUSE: DIS-CONNECTION.

disconnection from nature leads to VIOLATION of our PLANET & other living beings, and species.
disconnection from ourselves leads to INTERNAL WAR: mental and emotional suffering.
disconnection from others leads to WAR against our OWN SPECIES, our own people.
disconnection from source leads to ISOLATION and SEPARATION, and a sense of being LOST and ALONE.

If the GOAL is to END VIOLENCE and passing on of TRAUMA, i.e. external violence, we need to first end the internal violence - and yet - if we simultaneously instead of focusing on eradicating all the non-desirable, e.g. war, abuse, depression - we focus on CULTIVATING safety, kindness, presence, empathy & understanding - WITHIN and WITHOUT – this becomes an entirely different APPROACH, the same PURPOSE but a different PATH. A patch of WALKING TOWARD something rather than WALKING AWAY from something.

My task is to CONNECT OTHERS with their own depth and resources, their own INNR WELL of wisdom – the remembrance of CONNECTION – it’s the only thing that survives our own personal deaths, as a little seed.

Let’s plant that seed of knowing into our darkest, most moist soil, the compost of all our pain, it is there it will thrive the best, with patience and the holding and love of community, whilst it gestates. Whilst we are pregnant with the seed of knowing in a world of unknowing and uncertainty…

What I have been offering the past years:

• Nature immersions

• 1:1 intimacy mentoring

• Body and genital de-armouring

• Workshops

• Retreats

—> In Europe: Norway, Sweden, Germany, Switzerland, Portugal, Greece
—> For free in slums/townships in South Africa

What wants to be offered in the (near) future:

• Building a School (Training facilitators)

• Speaking on world stages

• Rites of passage

• Tantric sexual education for kid/adolescents learning to harness their sexual energy and integrity; breaking free from shame, people pleasing and tabus

• Honest Sharing Circles

• Talks (Podcasts, shows, online and offline conferences)

• Research findings

• Meditations

• Practical tools (kids, adults, self-regulation, co-regulation and other tools?

• Ideation factory

—> Participants all over the world learning, exploring together whilst supporting us to offer
—> For free in high violence, low resource areas / slums around the world!

It’s about:

COLLECTIVE DREAMING, COLLECTIVE ACTION; ELEVATING HUMANITY + TAKING ON RESPONSIBILITY

PEACE WORK: Creating GREATER HARMONY; SACRED UNION; MANIFESTING THE MY TRUE DREAM TEAM!!

VISIBILITY, ACKNOWLEDGEMENT, IMPACT; EMBODYING GENLTENESS, SUBTLENESS

My work is not about being shiny, it’s about bringing wisdom to the surface.

Knowledge comes from KNOWING. WISDOM comes from NOT KNOWING.

Until we become empty we cannot grasp it.

What if we built entire societies based on CARE? Where the pillars aren’t just economic success, but emotional resilience, radical presence, and collective healing? Where all schools and workplaces have healing rooms and gardens, where people can go to release, realign, and reconnect.

Where instead of punishing children or employees for “acting out,” we hold space for their emotional truth. What if, by teaching the next generation to listen to their bodies and to nature, and honor their truth, we ended violence—not by force, but by cultivating safety, empathy, and true connection to everything around us?

I stand here now, no longer speaking just from my small self, but from a bigger vision. We MUST shift the perspective beyond the myopic and envision 77 generations to come, the planet, and every being we share our beautiful Earth with. What is our role as humans, what is our evolution as humanity? I’m calling in a global movement—a revolution where we evolve as humanity to harmonize the planet by remembering our connection to something larger than ourselves, the wholeness and TAKING aligned actions, because we don’t just forget again or look away.

This is the dream of our MOVEMENT: to ignite a fire so big, so powerful, so bright, that it spreads across the planet, igniting the hearts and souls of every person it touches. A fire that doesn’t just burn quietly, but spurs people into action—into living differently, relating differently, and CARING. Because all the knowledge, all the healing in the world means nothing if we don’t bring it into the world through action, that’s why the Art of Connection, is also the ACT of Connection.

It is a REVOLUTION, as it dawns on us that we need to acknowledge that we are all perpetuating the status quo and saviorism rather than true sustainable empowerment that is collective... it is utmost time that we finally de-colonialize and de-capitalize our belief systems. There cannot be OUTER PEACE without INNER PEACE, which is why with INNR WELL (my Mindfulness in Schools project) we work from the inside out, the kids in the townships in South Africa don't need a solution from the outside, they need the empowerment to find the solutions deep inside their own INNeR WELL of resources.

So here I am. Expanding, I want not a single human in this planet to be missed by our Wildfire of LOVE. Fully standing in this bold vision: A world where we nudge the next step in human evolution through presence, where we stop perpetuating trauma and start building a future where our children—and their children’s children —grow up in a world of emotional safety, care, and connection as well as respect towards all that is. Where emotional truth and honest sharing are part of the fabric of society, and where we come home to ourselves, to each other, and to the Earth.

This isn’t just my vision anymore. I am tired of doing it ALONE. And I am tired of non-committed action – yes also calling myself out. I am tired of by-standers and by-passers. Aren’t we all tired of holding back? This is OUR revolution.

My biggest wish is to attract the best TEAM in the world to lead this REVOLUTION of CONNECTION. People who share the same values and CARE enough about our future that it is non-negotiable to procrastinate a single further day.

Let’s kick each other’s butts, because alone we can change but TOGETHER we can CHANGE THE WORLD.

Let’s breathe it into existence …one mindful connected moment at a time!